Wish I was there
Wish I was here

Between my time at Vassar in the late 90s and the pandemic in 2020, a lot happened. I can describe it with the words we have, which are from the overused lexicon of trauma and gaslighting and abuse, but the truth is somewhere more complicated. However, this project is not directly about that period. I came to Catwalk and the Hudson Valley, an important and favorite place, to revisit an open-ended time full of possibilities. My goal isn’t to go back fully, but to pick up where I left off.

I thought I would be dead before 50. How did I get from thinking the future was wide open to having an expiration date? With postcards as a frame, this is a conversation between younger me and current me, a way to go back in order to figure out how to go forward.

The drawings root in the Hudson Valley, in the past and present, with memories moving through and around. Over time, hope, healing, resilience, and rebirth make appearances. The river divides the message and the unknown destination, always the same and always changing. The words notice, react, and relate. The cards are an exchange, and also messages that might cross in the mail. Inner and outer dialogues, both of which can be true.

In this liminal space, shifting forward, I’m learning how I was there, so that I can be here.

All drawings done while in residence at Catwalk. 7” x 5”, ink and pencil on French paper